Aaliyah’s Journey PART THREE
The STEM Cell Transplant was successful, however Aaliyah developed Graft Versus Host Disease Stage IV and it was attacking her digestive system. Aaliyah was very, very sick according to one of her doctors. I did not want my mind to even imagine living in a world without her. How would I be able to survive? What about my son and her brother Micah? They were so close.
I prayed, and begged God to spare my baby and to heal her. I would never cry in front of her. I had to be her rock, her source of strength, and her punching bag. My tears would fall when I would shower so that the water could wash all evidence of my tears away. Her bath time was very special to me. I would bathe her. During that time we would watch, “Orange is the New Black.” Bath time was our special time. We both looked forward to that every night. That was the only time we had that went undisturbed by medical staff.
I eventually returned to work the day before Thanksgiving. Aaliyah sent me a picture telling me she was in excruciating pain. She then called me and told me to prepare her funeral because she was dying. I called the hospital to talk to Katie Lawrence, one of the nurses who had treated Aaliyah since we moved to Texas when she was eight. I flew to the hospital from work. I was a nervous wreck. When I got there Aaliyah was silent and I was crying. Only she could say, “LeTisa, stop crying. I need to talk to you and if you cry, I will not say another word.” I got myself all the way together and prepared myself for what my baby had to say. She had met with all her doctor’s and made decisions regarding her treatment and visitation by family members. The first thing my child would say to me is, “Mommy, I’m tired. I cannot fight anymore. But I want you to do three things for me and you must promise. First, I want you to be happy (in which she gave specific instructions on what needed to happen in my life for me to be happy). Second, you must make sure to take care of Micah. Third, you have to stay strong mommy.”
She also made me promise not to let her end up being a vegetable. If she could not enjoy life and live it to the fullest, she did not want to be on this Earth. I agreed with everything that she commanded of me. Thanksgiving morning started out so peaceful. We sat alone together in silence. Aaliyah looked so Angelic. I have never seen anyone look so peaceful and heavenly. I knew in my heart what was going on. But when I asked Aaliyah if she had something to tell me, she just closed her eyes, shook her head no, with a big smile on her face. She said, “I’m going to sleep now Mommy.” I asked her if I could give her a kiss. I kissed her bald head and told her how much I loved her, and her last words to me were that I love you too Mommy. She closed her eyes to take a nap. During that time, my mom and son arrived to bring me Thanksgiving Dinner.
While in the kitchen, the alarms started ringing due to a Code Blue. It was Aaliyah, she was having a seizure and they were trying to stabilize her. My baby, my warrior was taken immediately to ICU where she stays on life support for 12 more days. On my brother’s birthday, December 12, 2013, I was tasked with deciding whether she lived or died. I decided that she had endured enough and had her removed from life support. With family and friends in the room, my warrior transitioned.